Big Kids, Big Dreams, Big Load of Bull

(Please see my post ADD and Obesity for more on this issue.)

Has anyone seen the commercials for the new television show hosted by Shaq?

It’s one of those weight loss shows… for kids.

Yes, 200lb fifth graders will face boot camp with our beloved Shaquille O’Neal on ABC in a show titled, “Shaq’s Big Challenge”.

As my wonderful friend so lovingly put it, “The Europeans must be laughing their asses off at us right now.”

If any Europeans happen across this post, trust me, I am laughing right along with you.

Shaq dishes out some (insert sarcastic tone here) profound insight and states that in this society, “it’s easy to eat a bag of chips and watch TV, easy to eat a bag of chips and play with your PlayStation. It’s easy to eat a bag of doughnuts and just sit down and not do anything.”

Well put, Shaq. And now, thanks to you, the other 250 million Americans can sit down in front of their television with a big bag of buttery popcorn to watch you scream at a bunch of overweight kids.

But a few questions for you, Mr. O’Neal:

How many video games have you helped promote that included you as the star player?

Weren’t you, at one time, a spokesperson for Sprite… and the Big Mac?

And, how much are you making off of this television show?

Ah yes. Well, once again, Americans have shown the world what we’re made of:
Obese kids whose parents couldn’t do their job and raise healthy children in the first place
Loving parents who willingly sacrifice their children’s dignity for a couple bucks and the opportunity to meet Shaq
A love for watching fat children get screamed at while trying to run, jump, and do sit ups
The ease with which we will blindly follow network television and a 7 foot, 325lb giant.

Here’s to you, fat children of the world. Instead of those carrots, get mom to take you to Micky D’s. You never know, one day, you could meet the NBA star of your dreams.

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One Response to “Big Kids, Big Dreams, Big Load of Bull”

  1. Shaq Diesel Says:

    Shaq Diesel just be tryin to help out some kids, you know give back to the community. Shaq Diesel dont need no mo money. Shaq Diesel just wanna try to show the kids how to lose the weight. Shaq Diesel was once a big fatty. Shaq Diesel lost the weight. Then Shaq Diesel won 4 championships. Also Shaq Diesel is 7’1

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